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Since the average person's small supply of politeness must last him all his life, he can't afford to waste it on bridge partners. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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Bridge is essentially a social game, but unfortunately it attracts a substantial number of antisocial people. |
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Alan Truscott |
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If you can't take it, then don't dish it out. (a reference to players who continually criticize others but get offended when their own mistakes are pointed out). |
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The real test of a bridge player isn't in keeping out of trouble, but in escaping once he's in. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. |
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Woody Allen |
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It's not enough to win the tricks that belong to you. Try also for some that belong to the opponents. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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One gets use to abuse. It's waiting for it that is so trying. |
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When I take a 50-50 chance I expect it to come off 8 or 9 times out of 10.
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| Rueful Rabbit |
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| Hideous Hog |
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A knowledge of the mechanics will suffice to put a player in a commanding position in the post-mortem. To become a member of the upper crust calls for more, much more. Resilience, imagination, occasional flashes of inspiration, these are the hallmarks of quality. And this transcends the realm of science. |
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| Victor Mollo |
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If you have the slightest touch of masochism you'll love this game. |
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We believe that contract is particularly attractive to people with a scrappy disposition. |
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Frank Perkins |
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If 3NT is a viable option - then bid it. |
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Paul Soloway |
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If I did everything right, I wouldn't be playing with you! |
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It's not the skill that drops off with age, it's the drive, the killer instinct ... and when a man isn't primed to kill he makes mistakes. |
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Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you get there faster. |
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One advantage of bad bidding is that you get practice at playing atrocious contracts. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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Where's the hand you held during the auction?
- A comment made when dummy hit the table. |
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Jan Janitschke |
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South: Alert!
East: Yes?
South: I'm requested to further misdescribe my hand. |
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It is not the handling of difficult hands that makes the winning player. There aren't enough of them. It is the ability to avoid messing up the easy ones. |
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Alan Sontag |
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Most bridge players prefer consistency in their partners rather than brilliance. |
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Matthew Granovetter |
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The sum of all technical knowledge cannot make a master contract player. |
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Ely Culbertson |
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. |
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Barry Crane
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Card sense is when it's technically right to do something, the little man that sits on my shoulder or anyone else's shoulder says, "Don't do that." And you say to yourself, "Well, wait a minute, that's the right way to play." And he says, "Yeah, but you don't wanna play that way." That instinct is card sense. It's almost an ability to feel where the cards are. It's something that you can't buy, you can't find; you're born with. The ability to do the right thing at the wrong time or really to do the wrong thing at the right time. |
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I'm not sure whether glory or masterpoints is first on the list, but I know learning to play better is definitely last. |
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Eddie Kantar |
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I'd like a review of the bidding with all the original inflections. |
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The average defender operates in a fog of uncertainty. |
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Hugh Kelsey |
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Regardless of what sadistic impulses we may harbor, winning bridge means helping partner avoid mistakes. |
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Frank Stewart |
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A player who can't defend accurately should try to be declarer. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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The real secret of the expert is to make logic seem like flair. |
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Hugh Kelsey |
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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I favor light opening bids. When you're my age, you're never sure they're going to get back to you in time. |
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Oswald Jacoby at 77 |
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Years ago there were only two acceptable excuses for not leading the suit your partner had opened; having no cards in the suit, and sudden death. |
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Alfred Sheinwold |
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I think we're all a little masochistic. Otherwise, why would we continue to play bridge? |
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We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed I knew what I was doing. |
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My partner is 20 years behind the times. Nowadays you pay your money to bid. My partner still thinks you need cards. |
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Your play was much better today, and so were your excuses. |
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We play forcing hesitations. |
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Why is it that experts avoid the use of Blackwood, and novices use Blackwood with a void?
My partner is a well-balanced player. He makes up for his inadequacy in the bidding with his ineptitude in the play.
Joe knows absolutely nothing about the game; his wife plays twice as well.
Too bad, pard, that was an unlucky grand slam — the ace of trumps was offside. |
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There are three kinds of bridge players: |
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(1) Those who can count, and (2) those who can't. |
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Bridge is a game of inches; too bad I always have my foot in my mouth.
I never met a man I didn't like, ‘cept the bastard who doubled my slam.
I woulda led my singleton, partner, but I couldn't find it — it was so small. Never accept a free finesse. If you can't afford to pay, just charge it.
We had a 75-percent game last night! Three out of four opponents thought we were idiots.
Be an expert! Never take a finesse to make your contract when you can go down on a squeeze play.
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Experts say I am an expert, novices say I am an expert, intermediates say I am an expert, advanced players say I stink. |
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I'm the biggest masterpoint winner in Texas, doesn't that count for anything? |
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It was not a play error, it was a play concept error. |
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For an enormous number of classic Edgar Kaplan quotes, refer to Kaplan Quotes from the Rama Room.
For a bedside book, or a present for a bridge friend, you can't do better than "Classic Bridge Quotes" by Jared Johnson. |
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| UK visitors can purchase the book from Amazon.co.uk: - |
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If you have any suitable quotes, send me an e-mail |
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